A lot has changed inside of me this last year. Abortion recovery has always been on the forefront of my calling. I've expressed to you all time and time again that it is my passion to see others set free from abortion the way God set me free. But, nearly a year ago when my father passed away, some things inside of me really shifted. No, I don't mean that a part of me or my focus died, it's more like God used that experience to broaden my passion. For months, something very different has been occurring inside of me.
I have always loved God with everything that I am, but my passion for Jesus has become my lifeline for living. You know, desperate circumstances have a way of getting us positioned exactly where we need to be with Jesus. I've been in that place with God and I just do not want to leave it. I want to stay where He's dwelling and where He's moving. I'm desperate for the things only He can do. I understand that there is so much depending on my prayers and for this reason, much of my time has been doing just that.
Not everyone will understand this, and that's okay. For me though, I've got to stay right where He wants me for as long as He wants me. He's stirring me in a different way for reasons that I know are important and I don't want to rush.
God has an even greater direction He's wanting to take us all. If we'll just pause long enough to listen, it's amazing the things He'll communicate and reveal. There was a time in my life that I needed an outlined direction to where I was headed. You know the safe kind of boundaries? Not now though. I've taken on some gypsy characteristics (not a bad gypsy ;). I love not knowing where He's taking me. I don't want to know. I don't want my life (or this blog) to be so defined that I/we miss God's leading and direction. I want to let God do what He wants to do! It's sometimes a very quiet and slow process, and other times it's so radically quick and indescribable! If we'll let Him have His complete way with us, there's no limit to His hand at work in our lives.
5 comments:
God will take us on an exciting ride if we let him have the wheel!
JSYK, you are always in my prayers.
Bonnie,
This post is so real & relevant to me. Yesterday was my last Sunday at the ministry I've been at for 12years since I 1st got saved at 14yrs old! I am headed to a new place of ministry, but more importantly, I am headed into a new place in my walk with God. A year and a half ago, I too got OVERLY DESPERATE for God and His presence and His peace. Just like you said, he knows what to do to get us into position WITH Him. I have stayed in that place and feel that with this newest transition, God is going to reveal Himself to me in an even greater way. Like you, I don't have the 20/20 vision about this path He has placed me on, but I am willing to let Him lead me one step at a time.
I love reading your blog, I appreciate your words!
Passion and intimacy in times of hardship are the sweetest times I have had. God being our lifeline is what it's all about!
Praying for you!
Hi beautiful sister! Stay right where HE has you. It's not for any one else to understand but you and HIM as that's what's important. I support you as you HEAR HIM I will pray for you. I love you.
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