I've been away for some time-- and a little unsure of how to return to you all. So much has transpired in my life these last couple of months. I want to thank you from my heart for your concern and prayers. It has been those prayers that have carried my family and I.
As hard as it is to know where to begin exactly, I undeniably feel God's leading to write this evening.
Long, long, ago, there was a time in my life that I hit rock bottom. Rock bottom is the lowest one can go, and that is no doubt exactly where I was. I'll never forget those days. My life had become a hell that I was drowning in. Sure, two abortions had a whole lot to do with it, but that wasn't all that had gotten me to that desperate place. There was so much more. If you read back to my testimony, you'll find that something unexpected changed my life. It was God! He rescued me from that dark place, and He is the ONLY reason I can write to you today.
Since experiencing those days, I was given an added dose of compassion for the lives of those around me. I have such a heart for hurting people as a result of those times. So many out there are masking heavy hearts, looking for love in all the wrong places, and struggling to make sense of their experiences. I wonder a lot about people. What have they endured? What were their childhoods like?
I'm concerned for those that are broken and desperate the way I once was. I care about those that walk by me in the market, or that I drive by walking on the streets. I wonder how they are really doing, about what is happening in their lives at the current moment.
In this, I also wonder how it is that people can go on with their everyday lives and all of the things that fulfill them, and only them, without taking notice to people crying out for help, for love, for healing, for wholeness. I wonder how it is that people can choose to overlook that which is not convenient. That burdens me just as much as those I hurt for.
Is it only when you've been there yourself that you can assume this needed compassion for others?
NO!
Because God radically healed me from the devastation of abortion, I now have a passion to lead others to that same place. Because I know what it is to be severely depressed and recover, I want others to know that there is hope. I long to lead others to the same saving grace that I, myself, found in Jesus. How could I not?
I remember God speaking something to me long ago that I'll never forget. He said, "Bonnie, I did not just save you for yourself."
I've learned that when you've been in those places whether in your marriage, your finances, your family-- that your outlook is transformed. With those difficult times comes a new understanding, new perseverance, and a new opportunity to recognize someone else's pain and make a difference.
As you know, the latest chapter of my life has included the loss of my father. Oh, how I loved my father. There was no finer man. Losing him cut a big piece of my heart. As much as I have learned over the years about pain and healing, I still couldn't have been prepared enough for what I have experienced through this. I was forced to confront a pain I've never before known. I now have new experience to validate my compassion for those that are experiencing some type of loss. Because, once again....I've been there.
As I've kept my eyes upon Jesus, new strength and new comfort have come to me. As hard as our experiences can sometimes be, I'm convinced that there is always good to be found. And for this, I am thankful. God has sustained me!
I don't believe that you have to experience a specific tragedy, to have the compassion to help someone, though. It is NOT only when you've been there that you can make a difference. And if you have been there, even better! Use your experience to help someone through. Don't you ever forget the places that you've been in your own life!
I thank God for where He has helped me to, but, I refuse to take my eyes off those who are still hurting.
This is what God lead me to write. I believe it was for someone specific out there. Just want you to know, you're not alone. God cared enough to get this message to you. May you find comfort in knowing that you're not forgotten!
