Let Go, And Let God

One of the biggest hindrances to healing & wholeness from abortion can often be SELF. You long to be free inside, but the thought of letting your secret go, overwhelms you with fear. There's a negative voice always trying to convince you that your secret will jeopardize your relationships, your reputation, your everything. And, as hard as it has been to live with the torment of your abortion(s), you comply in suspecting that it would be even harder to let the secret go.

The enemy of your soul works 'round the clock to keep you in the place of bondage. He knows God can free you, forgive you, remake you, and he will stop at nothing to see to it that you stay paralyzed and stuck with what you've done. You may have yourself convinced that this is what you deserve after having done the ultimate of wrongs... abortion. But, you couldn't be more wrong!

I know this may sound pretty deep to some.

I assure you, it is deep!

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

You must know today that you do not have to remain in what you feel is a lose/lose situation. The devil is the biggest lier there is! What he whispers to you is a lie! He wants nothing more than to kill you and destroy you (like the walking dead), BUT GOD, has come to give you life and life abundantly!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10

Many continue in the struggle thinking that God could never forgive them for what they've done.

WRONG AGAIN!

God is faithful to His word. And, His word tells us that if we will confess and turn from our sins, then He is faithful to forgive us. Even from abortion!

I, even I, am the one

who wipes out your transgressions

for My own sake;
and I will not remember your sins.
Isaiah 43:25

Recently, I received an e-mail from a precious woman by the name of Vanessa. With her permission, I'd like to share her message with you today. Vanessa is a woman who has chosen to let go, and let GOD!

Dear Bonnie~

My name is Vanessa, and I am writing in response to your website. I just happened to come across it while searching for insight regarding grief over abortion. I would like to thank for taking the time to tell your story and talk about the painful effects of abortion. I could relate to everything you said.

I am now 33 years old, and I am just beginning the healing process. I have had three abortions in my life. The hurt and shame surrounding these experiences have overwhelmed me so much throughout my life. I have done everything possible to distract or numb myself because I could not cope with the pain. I never really dealt with the immense feelings that surrounded these painful experiences. It was just too painful, and instead I tried to alleviate the feelings with abusing alcohol and drugs, constantly being in dysfunctional abusive relationships, and living a life of such self loathing and depression that sometimes I would barely get out of bed for days.

My Mother had me when she was really young (19 years) and was not married to my Father. He abandoned me when I was a baby, and had no part in my life in any form. This lack of love from my Father, created a void deep within me. I felt like there was something wrong with me. My Mother had been emotionally abused as a child herself, so although she loved me..she didn't show it to me in the ways I so desperately needed.Especially considering I had already lost one parent.

I will not go into full detail about my tumultuous life right now, but know this....it has been full of pain and emptiness that completely enveloped my soul. This paved the path for a life of self destruction to the fullest extent because I didn't love myself nor feel I deserved love. Of course feeling this way caused me to make choices that would cause me even more pain. The choice I made to abort my three children is very much part of it.

Throughout my life I have always believed in God, but have struggled with my Christian Faith. I chose to fill the painful empty void in my heart and soul with quick fixes that did nothing but create temporary relief. Once I experienced the short period of relief, I was left feeling even more pain and emptiness afterward.

Recently, I came back to Jesus...and this time, I can honestly say for good. I am very happy that Jesus loves me this much, and that he has all along. He never gave up on me, and I know he has a clear plan in mind for my life. This really gives me peace, and so much hope. Something I was starving to have for so many years.

I certainly feel pain and sorrow as well, however I know God is allowing me to feel the sorrow and to grieve before I can totally move forward. I never allowed myself to fully feel these feelings in the past because it was just too unbearable. I know now though that it is an important step in my path to recovery in order to truly heal.

I sit here sometimes and tears just stream down my face, but it is more than just the feeling of great sorrow and going through the grieving process. It's bittersweet... an overwhelming feeling.. as though I am experiencing a spiritual cleansing.

Thank you, again, Bonnie. I would love to hear from you if you are able, although I'm sure you have a lot of people that get in touch with you. If you have the chance, that would be wonderful.

God Bless,
Vanessa :0)

God is now taking Vanessa through a healing journey, and filling her with everything that she has needed. My reason for wanting to share this e-mail with you, is to encourage you that God longs to do the same thing in you.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,he is a new creation;
the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

God continues to pursue you, simply because He loves you like no one else ever could. It is only He that can fill your void inside. The truth is, He already knows every thing you've ever done. And yet, He still loves you like no other.

You have set our iniquities before you,

our secret sins in the light of your presence.

Psalm 90:8

When I kept silent,

my bones wasted away

through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you

and did not cover up my iniquity.

I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"

and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Psalm 32:3-5

Surrendering your mistakes to Jesus, and inviting Him into your heart is all that it takes. This is something that does not involve anyone else, only you! God will work out all of the details of your life, but, for now, He wants to fill YOU with His goodness.

Thank you, Vanessa, for your willingness to allow me to share this. The enemy meant for your destruction, but God is using it for His glory!

You intended to harm me,

but God intended it for good

to accomplish what is now being done,

the saving of many lives.

Genesis 50:20

You Will Live!

Earlier this week, the Lord lead me to a piece of scripture that I have not been able to shake. This happens to me often. It's as if God calls upon me to share it with a particular person or group, and until I do, it remains stirring in my spirit.

Yesterday evening, while I was at church for Thursday Night Prayer, it was there that God lead me to share the scripture. Words can not properly describe how this piece of scripture came alive in that place as we began to apply it directly to so many areas of life.

This morning as I awoke and began my daily activities, again, I felt God's prompting to share the same piece of scripture...this time with all of you.

Please, read the words slowly and carefully. God has a message for you this morning through this.

Ezekiel 37
1-14

The hand of the Lord was upon me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. He asked me, "Son of man, can these bones live?"

"I said, "O Sovereign Lord, you alone know."

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to these bones and say to them, "Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you, and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord."

So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

Then he said to me, "Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, "This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live." So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet--a vast army.

Then he said to me: "Son of man, these bones are the whole house of Israel. They say, "Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off." Therefore prophesy and say to them: "This is what the Sovereign Lord says; O my people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord."


May each of you be encouraged by the hope that is found in Jesus! He's saying to you that He will open the graves, bring you up from them, put His spirit in you, and YOU WILL LIVE!

To this, I say, "Yes Lord, Yes!"

Siblings of Aborted Children

Finally, a continuation! I have been sharing that up to 30-40 people can be impacted by every one abortion. We have covered the men that father aborted children, the grandparents of these babies, and today, I'd like to share with you about how siblings of aborted children can be affected.

Many times, siblings may sense a lost brother or sister without confirmation that this has actually happened. Imagine your son coming up to you and saying, "Hey, Mom! I had a great dream last night. I went to Heaven and played with my big brother, Jake." This actually happened to a woman who had never told her son about her abortion.

Some children may be told by a parent when at the appropriate age (this is a subject all its own that I would like to address in the near future). Children that are living at the time of their sibling's abortion may feel survivor guilt and/or a false sense of responsibility for the death of their sibling. Some parents actually victimize their living children by discussing with them whether or not to abort. Some even telling their children that they're choosing abortion for the benefit of the living offspring. This forces the children to feel like an accomplice to the death of their sibling.

When a mother gets pregnant soon after an abortion, it is often an attempt to recreate or make up for her lost child. If the subsequent child later learns about the abortion, it can be very traumatic for them. They may wonder if they would even be alive if it weren't for the death of their sibling, or why it was that they were allowed to live. This child can carry a heavy burden of expectation that he/she may not be able to fulfill.

If an abortion was done for convenience, social pressure or economic necessity, the parents will often struggle to make sure it cannot happen again. Subconsciously aware of their destructiveness, the parents can overprotect their child against projected hostilities. This child reflects parental need to control those forces that destroyed their sibling. As this child is kept free from exploring the world, so his/her intelligence, adaptability and curiosity are crimped.

Some children live in a somewhat of a haunted stage, living in distrust of what may be in store for him while parents conspire not to burden them with the facts. The child is haunted by a mystery, knowing and yet unknowing. He/she is afraid to ask for clarification in case they discover something more awful than they already expect.

There is growing evidence that siblings of aborted children are impacted more than not. Post- Abortion Survivor Syndrome will often be experienced at varying degrees and at different times in life. This impact can manifest in early childhood as well as later in adulthood.

This is an important area that must not be ignored!

While there are not, unfortunately, many tools available to assist siblings through the healing process at this time, there are some helpful steps that can still be taken. Living siblings must be allowed to grieve the loss of their aborted sibling, even if other family members maybe stuck in denial for the abortion itself. The truth is, the entire family needs healing.

Until you or your children grieves effectively, you are likely to find a part of yourselves that remains tied to the past. Grieving is not forgetting, but healthy grieving results in an ability to remember the importance of your loss—but with a new found sense of peace, rather than searing pain or confusion.

If you look back to my post entitled "Grieving, Mourning, and Honoring" (2008), you will find some helpful tools to help graduate your grieving process to a memorializing process, which can be an event that includes those whom you sense could benefit.

In addition, there are numerous websites that are available to help walk you through a healthy mourning & grieving process.

The repercussions of abortion aren't easy. It can be all the more painful to consider how your abortion(s) may also be affecting your child(ren). The good news is that the same great God that loves and cares for you, is also loving and caring for your children. Call upon His name. He will not let you down. I GUARANTEE IT! My life is a living witness to this!

As always, I continue to pray for you, as well as your families.