Let Go, And Let God

One of the biggest hindrances to healing & wholeness from abortion can often be SELF. You long to be free inside, but the thought of letting your secret go, overwhelms you with fear. There's a negative voice always trying to convince you that your secret will jeopardize your relationships, your reputation, your everything. And, as hard as it has been to live with the torment of your abortion(s), you comply in suspecting that it would be even harder to let the secret go.

The enemy of your soul works 'round the clock to keep you in the place of bondage. He knows God can free you, forgive you, remake you, and he will stop at nothing to see to it that you stay paralyzed and stuck with what you've done. You may have yourself convinced that this is what you deserve after having done the ultimate of wrongs... abortion. But, you couldn't be more wrong!

I know this may sound pretty deep to some.

I assure you, it is deep!

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear;
but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:7

You must know today that you do not have to remain in what you feel is a lose/lose situation. The devil is the biggest lier there is! What he whispers to you is a lie! He wants nothing more than to kill you and destroy you (like the walking dead), BUT GOD, has come to give you life and life abundantly!

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy;
I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
John 10:10

Many continue in the struggle thinking that God could never forgive them for what they've done.

WRONG AGAIN!

God is faithful to His word. And, His word tells us that if we will confess and turn from our sins, then He is faithful to forgive us. Even from abortion!

I, even I, am the one

who wipes out your transgressions

for My own sake;
and I will not remember your sins.
Isaiah 43:25

Recently, I received an e-mail from a precious woman by the name of Vanessa. With her permission, I'd like to share her message with you today. Vanessa is a woman who has chosen to let go, and let GOD!

Dear Bonnie~

My name is Vanessa, and I am writing in response to your website. I just happened to come across it while searching for insight regarding grief over abortion. I would like to thank for taking the time to tell your story and talk about the painful effects of abortion. I could relate to everything you said.

I am now 33 years old, and I am just beginning the healing process. I have had three abortions in my life. The hurt and shame surrounding these experiences have overwhelmed me so much throughout my life. I have done everything possible to distract or numb myself because I could not cope with the pain. I never really dealt with the immense feelings that surrounded these painful experiences. It was just too painful, and instead I tried to alleviate the feelings with abusing alcohol and drugs, constantly being in dysfunctional abusive relationships, and living a life of such self loathing and depression that sometimes I would barely get out of bed for days.

My Mother had me when she was really young (19 years) and was not married to my Father. He abandoned me when I was a baby, and had no part in my life in any form. This lack of love from my Father, created a void deep within me. I felt like there was something wrong with me. My Mother had been emotionally abused as a child herself, so although she loved me..she didn't show it to me in the ways I so desperately needed.Especially considering I had already lost one parent.

I will not go into full detail about my tumultuous life right now, but know this....it has been full of pain and emptiness that completely enveloped my soul. This paved the path for a life of self destruction to the fullest extent because I didn't love myself nor feel I deserved love. Of course feeling this way caused me to make choices that would cause me even more pain. The choice I made to abort my three children is very much part of it.

Throughout my life I have always believed in God, but have struggled with my Christian Faith. I chose to fill the painful empty void in my heart and soul with quick fixes that did nothing but create temporary relief. Once I experienced the short period of relief, I was left feeling even more pain and emptiness afterward.

Recently, I came back to Jesus...and this time, I can honestly say for good. I am very happy that Jesus loves me this much, and that he has all along. He never gave up on me, and I know he has a clear plan in mind for my life. This really gives me peace, and so much hope. Something I was starving to have for so many years.

I certainly feel pain and sorrow as well, however I know God is allowing me to feel the sorrow and to grieve before I can totally move forward. I never allowed myself to fully feel these feelings in the past because it was just too unbearable. I know now though that it is an important step in my path to recovery in order to truly heal.

I sit here sometimes and tears just stream down my face, but it is more than just the feeling of great sorrow and going through the grieving process. It's bittersweet... an overwhelming feeling.. as though I am experiencing a spiritual cleansing.

Thank you, again, Bonnie. I would love to hear from you if you are able, although I'm sure you have a lot of people that get in touch with you. If you have the chance, that would be wonderful.

God Bless,
Vanessa :0)

God is now taking Vanessa through a healing journey, and filling her with everything that she has needed. My reason for wanting to share this e-mail with you, is to encourage you that God longs to do the same thing in you.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ,he is a new creation;
the old has gone, the new has come!
2 Corinthians 5:17

God continues to pursue you, simply because He loves you like no one else ever could. It is only He that can fill your void inside. The truth is, He already knows every thing you've ever done. And yet, He still loves you like no other.

You have set our iniquities before you,

our secret sins in the light of your presence.

Psalm 90:8

When I kept silent,

my bones wasted away

through my groaning all day long.

For day and night your hand was heavy upon me;

my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.

Then I acknowledged my sin to you

and did not cover up my iniquity.

I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord"

and you forgave the guilt of my sin.

Psalm 32:3-5

Surrendering your mistakes to Jesus, and inviting Him into your heart is all that it takes. This is something that does not involve anyone else, only you! God will work out all of the details of your life, but, for now, He wants to fill YOU with His goodness.

Thank you, Vanessa, for your willingness to allow me to share this. The enemy meant for your destruction, but God is using it for His glory!

You intended to harm me,

but God intended it for good

to accomplish what is now being done,

the saving of many lives.

Genesis 50:20