Happy Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving !

I'm thanking God for many things this year, and amongst those things are each of you! I'm thankful for the opportunity I've been given to connect with you through the means of this blog, and the friendships that have been created as a result. May you each experience a day full of reflection for HIS goodness!

Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the most High.

Psalm 50:14

Not So Happy Times

We're entering into a week of thankful reflections and traditional motions are being set into place to celebrate a day that many of us look forward to. There's a sense of great excitement and anticipation -- most of it being my own! I personally love this time of year. I'm captivated by the changing colors of the leaves in early fall. I love the warmth and crackle of a fire, cuddling on the sofa with a warm throw, the aromas of comfort food, scented pine cones, candles in the air, and watching the rain fall in varying directions and intensities. Thanksgiving Day is a holiday that I have learned to take very literally. I love that I can celebrate all that I'm thankful for.....and believe me, I have much to be thankful for!

I haven't always had these feelings, however. You see, my first abortion occurred in the month of October. I can distinctly remember the joy I once had for the season, drastically changing into an agonizing dread. What I once interpreted as warmth during the coldness was now redefined as a sadness that was just a dreary as the weather.

The cold, grey weather can indeed seem to only intensify the painful reminder of the emptiness that is felt without your child. But even beyond this, there was something very significant that I was experiencing during this time every year. It wasn't just the holidays or the weather. I was experiencing something that has sometimes been described as Anniversary Syndrome. It's not at all uncommon to have an intensified sadness during the time of year that either your abortion took place, or that your child would have been born. I can't explain this mysterious reaction our bodies will have, but somehow it just happens.

I have come to understand that it does not necessarily stop once you've gone through your healing. It can still happen, but it is not a defeating experience. I think it's important not to ignore or overlook the natural response that our bodies will prompt. I still feel it, and when I do, I allow myself to feel what I need to feel, then I keep walking my walk of victory.

When you experience the fullness of healing, or even more importantly, the fullness of Jesus, it lifts the former sting of dreadfulness for these times of year. God replaces it with a new perspective on how you can get through, and once again enjoy the seasons and holidays.

Whether it's an anniversary reminder, or the season that we're currently in, my prayer for those of you that are feeling this heaviness in your heart right now, is that God would uplift your very spirit. Don't ignore what you feel, but when these times do come, don't get lost in the gloom. Allow God to keep pouring out the spirit of gladness, the peace that exceeds our understanding, and return to you the joy of the seasons.

Then maidens will dance and be glad, young men and old as well.

I will turn their mourning into gladness;

I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow.

Jeremiah 31:13

Meet Michelle

Some time back, I mentioned how many of the precious women that I have been privileged to work with, have become very close personal friends of mine. Such is the case with Michelle.

Michelle is one of the most inspiring women I know! By the grace of our great God, she has overcome the most adverse of circumstances.

As a young child, she endured physical and mental abuse, an abortion that resulted from that abuse, and the sting of cruel condemnation from those who did not understand the truth of her circumstances. She quickly resorted to excessive drug and alcohol abuse, as well as a string of harmful relationships in an effort to escape her great pain and turmoil. This pattern continued for many years in her adult life.

She lived a life of hit and miss, until she finally found the love she was desperately searching for in Jesus Christ!

We met 7 years ago when I became her counselor. God did a tremendous work during our time together, and all that He helped her to overcome was certainly no small thing. When Michelle would share and describe her past, my heart would deeply grieve and literally cause me to feel sick to my stomach at times. It was unsettling, to say the least, to hear about the injustice that was done to her as a little girl, and that continued in her adult life.

Through it all, God healed Michelle from the bondage of her past and has been rebuilding every part of her life ever since!

In response to what God had done, Michelle set out to serve Him in every possible way she could. She currently serves as the president of the Missionary Department within her church, she is a licensed Outreach Missionary, she serves as a post abortion counselor herself now, and she has earned an Associates Degree in Human Services and Psychology, as well as a Bachelors Degree in Sociology.

In the years that I have known her, she has dedicated her time to investing into the lives of young people within the juvenile hall, regularly feeding and clothing the homeless on the streets, and weekly providing transportation to those at the local homeless shelter desiring to attend church. And, may I add that she does it all by herself! She thinks nothing of buying a loaf of bread, a package of lunch meat, and taking it to the park to feed, love, and minister to those that are hurting out there.

Several months ago, she received the prestigious Sargent Shriver Achievement Award. This award honors those who have changed their own lives and are now helping to change other's lives.

Michelle is a woman of great humbleness, and does the work of our God, never to be seen or recognized, but to simply share His love.

For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Luke 14:11

Michelle is now a sought after motivational speaker and excitingly shares her testimony of how God helped her to overcome her victimized past. She has also coordinated many women's conferences and outreaches that focus on this same type of victory.

Beyond all this, she is my very dear friend and covenant sister. Our friendship was built from our life experiences. I treasure her, respect her, and love her a great deal! Being able to witness her progress and growth over the years, not only brings me great fulfillment, but also inspires me!

I am very proud of her - but through all of her achievements, the thing that resignates most is that God chose her once broken and tarnished vessel to use for His great purposes. The fact that we can all be used by God, no matter what our past looks like, is truly the crown of beauty instead of ashes!

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion -- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Isaiah 61: 1-3

I think my Pastor says it best:

"The people whom we help to spiritual maturity, will become our fountain of joy and our door to an ever widening ministry."

--Bishop Gabe Abdelaziz

My friends, never underestimate what God can do in and through you, nor what He can accomplish through those He leads you to!

HE'S A MIGHTY BIG GOD!

(All information was shared with Michelle's permission.)

Continued Healing

I have learned over the years that when true healing comes, we definitely will reach a peak of wholeness and acceptance that equips us to walk out the life plan that God has for us. True healing establishes a secure foundation of understanding for where we've been in our lives, and anticipates our outlook of where we're now going.

I've also learned that in post abortion healing, God will continue to enhance our healing in subtle ways year after year. I completely understand and believe in the power of our God to provide quick and radical healing from some things. But as a woman who has been through both abortion and healing, I also know that abortion runs deep and engrossedly embeds our spirits. I believe that God has a great sensitivity for this deepness, and therefore, though He will get us to that peak of wholeness, He also recognizes that continued reminders of His love and healing power will only contribute to the unique wholeness that only He can bring. This is the kind of God we have! He knows the deep things within our hearts and loves us just the way He knows we need it!

There are a couple of examples that I'd like to give of how healing has continued throughout the years in my own life.

After going through the healing process myself, I began to work with other women that were seeking the same type of wholeness. In this, I found an instant connection to women that I would have otherwise never known or connected with. You start out not knowing a thing about a woman, then soon find that you both have this very heavy experience in common. Many of these women ended up becoming my very close friends. While God was moving upon their hearts, I couldn't help but to share their pain and their comfort because I understood every bit of what they were feeling. When they'd cry, I would cry - when they rejoiced, I would rejoice! Every time that God did a miraculous transformation in these women's lives, I would be increasingly transformed myself as I was reminded of the great rescue that He too, did for me. This is what I describe as continued healing.

In my post entitled "Grieving, Mourning, and Honoring", I mentioned that as much as I wanted to name my aborted children, I just couldn't seem to do it for some reason. I will explain this now. I will have to back up quite a bit to do it though, so please, bear with me.

Before my husband & I had our first son together, I can remember praying fervently for a child. At one point, I actually heard the Lord tell me that I would have twin girls. I could not believe what I had heard and I was ecstatic! You see, I could remember at one time admiring these two adorable twin girls that were about 4 or 5. I remember they had long, dark brown, wavy hair, they were holding hands, and something about them just warmed my heart. I had never prayed specifically for twin girls, but the fact that God would tell me I would have twin girls, told me He knew the desires of my heart. So, I excitedly told my husband, parents, friends, etc. about what I had heard God say. I've shared with you before, but it was a very long time until we actually conceived a child. When I learned that I was pregnant, I just knew these were going to be our twin girls. We were not told whether it was a boy or girl, and every time that the doctor only heard one heart beat, I knew that everyone would be in for a big surprise when I actually delivered. Well...I delivered my miracle SON, Nickolas. I was surprised, but definitely not disappointed. I knew that the twins would come in the future.

Several years after my son Nickolas was born, my husband and I began to speak about having another child. This time was much different. We prayed, and I quickly got pregnant. This was a very special blessing to me. God had already given us the miracle of one son, and the fact that He was now so easily entrusting another child to us, was, and still is, overwhelming to me. Anyway, I figured this would be our twin girls, and the long story short is that twin girls were not born, but my SON, Nolan Josiah, was. His name was also prayerfully appointed and is also a declaration of who he is:

Nolan - Noble and upright in character!

Josiah - Jehovah supports!

So, there it was! We had been entrusted to two little mighty men of God, and I wouldn't have changed a thing! At this point, I quite honestly was consumed with my two boys and had temporarily forgotten about the twin girl thing. I should also add that when Nolan was born, I had my tubes tied.

Anyway, life went on, my sons were growing, and I was busy being a mama. I continued to work with women in the same way, and everything was great!

THEN, one day several years after Nolan was born, when I was driving to work one morning and praying, the memory of the twin girl thing popped into my mind. So, I asked, "God, what was that all about? Did I miss you? I really thought you told me that I would have twin girls." God immediately replied to me and said, "How do you know that you don't?" Just as quick as He could say this, I recalled my second abortion and how it was that I had to go back so that they could repeat the procedure. God moved all over me and gave me the heavy revelation that the reason I had to go back was because there were two......and those were my twin girls! It's very hard to explain just how moving this new found understanding was to me. Once again, my life was drastically changed! I finally understood why I had not been able to name them before. It was because I didn't have two aborted children, I had three!

So began another chapter to my healing process. I set out to finally name my children. I always felt very sure that my first child was a son, and now I knew I also had twin girls. I prayed and prayed for God's leading on naming them. But, I heard nothing. Naming them was very important to me, but it was almost as if I was being so careful to name them that I just couldn't seem to do it.

One night in the middle of my sleep, I began praying and frustratingly asked, "God, why is it that you won't give me names for my children?" God simply replied, "Bonnie, it is yours to prayerfully select and appoint their names just as you did for Nickolas & Nolan." How simple but powerful! I raced out of bed to find my book of baby names. God blessed the process and before I knew it, I finally had their names. Just as with Nickolas & Nolan, these names were prayerfully appointed and are a declaration to who they were/are:

My son, Joseph Amado:

Joseph - He shall add!
(His life added to my salvation and destiny)

Amado - Beloved of God!
(Though I was too young and ignorant to realize my love for him at the time, he was always God's beloved)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My twin girls, Atalie Janae & Evelina Janelle

Atalie - The Lord is mighty!
(The Lord is mighty in her and in me because of her)

Janae - A harvest of fruit!
(My life is the fruit of hers)
--------------------------------------------------------------

Evelina - Life!
(Her life brought me to new life)

Janelle - God is gracious!
(As a result of her life, I was led to God's grace)


In my profile, I describe myself as a mother to five children. Many have not understood this before now - and now you have the answer.

I enjoy sharing my life with you, and realize that in so doing, it is another example of that continued healing!

Did You Realize?

Did You Realize?

FOCA would wipe away every restriction on abortion nationwide.

What This Means:

This means that current state and federal laws, that the majority of Americans support, would be eradicated!

FOCA would erase the ban on partial birth abortion!

FOCA would do away with the requirement that women be given information about the risks of getting an abortion!

FOCA would do away with the requirement that only licensed physicians could perform an abortion!

FOCA would erase these laws and prevent states from enacting similar protective measures in the future!

Yet, President-elect Obama has said that signing it would be top priority for him.

Visit: http://www.fightfoca.com/
for more details and answers to your questions!
Please, take a stand & sign the petition today!

Grieving, Mourning, and Honoring

I long to see you,

so that I may be filled with joy.

2 Timothy 1:4

Today, I want to speak more about the process of memorializing (or) honoring your unborn child(ren). The loss of a child is one of the most difficult things one can experience....even when it's due to abortion. A mother/child connection is one of God's strongest instincts. The fact remains that the connection that a mother experiences with her unborn child is just as significant as it is after they are born. And, while many people who have lost children after they were born have a gravesite to visit, those who have aborted or miscarried usually do not.

I mentioned in my last post, that your healing process will often include a memorial service for your unborn child(ren). Notice I say "memorial" and not "funeral" service. This is an important emphasis based on several reasons.

Grieving is defined as the feeling of great sorrow. There is an earlier part of your healing process that is devoted to this portion alone, and allows you the time to really grieve the decision that was made to abort, and the great loss you experienced as a result of that decision. This can also be the stage of healing that God allows you to mourn. Mourning is defined as the period or interval during which a person grieves. It's during this time, you come to terms with your great remorse, you allow yourself to feel the loss of your child(ren), and you begin to understand where your child is now.

Grief is a normal and natural response to loss. Though we often expect to grieve the death of a family member or loved one, there are many other losses that can trigger grief. Such as the end of a relationship, or when a much-anticipated opportunity or life goal is suddenly ended. These can all tie in together when mourning an aborted child.

Grieving such losses is important because it allows us to "free-up" energy that is bound to our experience(s)—so that we might re-invest that energy elsewhere. Until we grieve effectively, we are likely to find a part of us that remains tied to the past. I'm not saying in any way that grieving is forgetting, but healthy grieving results in an ability to remember the importance of our loss—but with a new found sense of peace, rather than searing pain.

When the above process has taken place, and you come to a position in where God has progressed your healing process, you can now look at memorializing your child(ren) with great anticipation. It is a time of honoring and celebrating the significance of your child's life. It should never be looked at as a gloomy, heavy time, but an uplifted experience that provides you with great peace and fulfilment. The definition of honor is, a mark, token, or gesture of respect, distinction, glory, recognition, or esteem.

Many women get stuck in understanding the "significance" of their unborn child's life, because they believe they robbed their child of the chance to grow and fulfill their significance. Long ago, God gave me great revelation about the significance of an unborn child's life, as well as that of a young baby that dies. I believe that the greatest significance of their lives was to be an instrument that would help lead us to a life changing relationship with Jesus Christ. And what a significant purpose that is!

A memorial service will represent different things for different people, but is always a very heartfelt and meaningful experience. This is a time for you to give back to your child(ren), and express what it is that you would tell them now. Sometimes, husbands or family members are included, and sometimes they are not.

Many women who have aborted (or miscarried) children will be curious as to whether their child was a boy or a girl. As a woman seeks the Lord with this question, she will often get an unction in her spirit as to who they were exactly. When this happens, a woman will often name her child.

My Children's Memorial Service:

I always had a desire to name my aborted children (especially for their memorial service and even beyond), but I could never do it for some reason. There was something extreme that God later revealed to me, and was the reason that this was so. I will share this with you soon.

I remember being so excited as I considered what I could make for them for this time of celebrating their lives. After careful contemplation, I ended up creating a beautiful golden oval box, not to represent a coffin, but to fill with what I would give them now. I searched my heart for what I would give them, and the best conclusion that I could come up with was "Jesus". I would give them Jesus! I purchased two white miniature bibles and put them in my box. During my time of preparation, both my mother and husband knew about the process that I had been in, and the significant event I was preparing for. I let them both know that they could contribute something if they desired, but I truly had no expectations. This was something that I needed to do. To my surprise, my sweet husband purchased a card and wrote this sentiment inside:

This letter represents a piece of my heart for two little people I've never seen, but yet I feel apart of. I know you are in a great place with a great person, but I would just like to say I love you and I know your mom loves you very much. There's not a day that goes by that we don't think about you. Your mom is a wonderful person who you should be very proud of. I hope and pray that one day real soon we would all be together in a better place worshipping the King of Kings together as a family.

My mother also surprised me by contributing a card, without any knowledge of what my husband had already done. Her card read this:

To two little angels,

At the time I thought I was doing the right thing for my daughter, your mom, by letting you go. I was so hurt and mad at the same time and just wanted to make it better for my baby, my daughter, your mom. But now I see it was the wrong thing to do, and that she loved you more than I could understand. I didn't stop to think how big of a hole it would leave in her heart. But thanks to God, I see things in a different way now. I know God is taking care of you both, and that some day we'll all be together. Until then, know how much I love you both and miss you. It's hard for me to put into words, but I think you know how I really feel inside.

I can't begin to tell you how much those two cards still mean to me.

In a card I purchased, I wrote the following:

My Babies,

My heart is filled with pain when I think of the two beautiful gifts I gave up. Not 1 day will ever go by that I will not regret the decisions that were made. I love you both with every part of me. I believe you both can see my heart and can see that it was a hard time in my life. That is not what I wanted for you both. I wanted to know I could give you a life of love and stability. The thing now, though, is your mommy has a new life, new strength, and a new hope! The same wonderful Jesus that is loving and caring for you right now, is also loving and caring for me. I am no longer the same, thanks to Jesus. He rescued me from my desperation. I am living in God's instruction and have many things to fulfill for Him. My babies, Jesus is all you'll ever need and I know you have him. He's my strength and He is the reason I can look ahead now, and so forward to seeing you! You're my pride, and your existence will never be hidden. In your honor, I am going to put all of my effort into helping others in the same situation. By God's grace, there is good that has and that will continue to be a result of your precious lives!

On the day of their memorial, I arrived with my items to share. The dear woman that so tenderly worked with me through my healing process had candles and flowers, and everything was just so perfect!

This one event alone gave me a lasting impression on how I could continue to live my life in a way that would forever honor theirs. Many women will decide at this point that they would like to devote themselves to helping other women, the same profound way they have been helped.

Honoring and memorializing is not just limited to any one event. As the years have passed for me since the memorial service of my own children, there have been multiple opportunities for both the memorializing and honoring to continue and grow. As the memorializing and honoring process continues, another important factor you may consider is how and when you might decide to include your other children in such a process. This is another topic all it's own, and one I will also touch on at another time.

I leave you with a poem that I wrote many years after my children's memorial service.

My Heart Cries For You

Time came and went so quickly

My child's life was gone

What do I do now?

My Heart Cries For You

Your lives had great value

Something others too quickly forgot

Forget? I could never forget.

My Heart Cries For You

The pain has been too much some days,

For nothing will bring you back

Oh, what I've missed without you.

My Heart Cries For You

With a void so steady and constant,

Where can I possibly go

To remedy the grief that distresses my soul?

My Heart Cries For You

I discovered it's to Jesus Christ

He knows everything about me

He has my tears all counted,

Can you imagine?

My Heart Cries For You

Remember the void?

It's no longer there.

God filled it with His love,

and that was all I needed.

My Heart Cries For You

Today, I will celebrate

For the impact your life has had

For everything you still are

And that I don't have to be sad.

My Heart Cries For You

Now What?

So, Congratulations! You've decided to surrender all of your pain to God.....but, you may be wondering, now what? There are a few key steps for you to take in discovering and maintaining your God-given wholeness.

First, you must understand that The Bible is the basis for true healing. God can and will work with a heart that is willing to understand Him. The world is a master of offering self-help remedies, but you must conceive in your own heart that God's way, is the only true way!

Next, as I've mentioned before, I highly recommend that you contact your local pregnancy resource center. There are several ways for you to locate such a place. You may look in your local yellow pages, or, you will find a tool at the bottom of this blog that will help you to find a center in your area. Most of these centers offer post abortive counseling. The first phone call may be the hardest step, but you can do it! Once you speak to someone, you will quickly find that there is not condemnation or judgement on the other end of the phone, but instead, someone who has likely been there also and wants to help you. Most times, a pregnancy center will walk you through a healing process by spending time talking with you, praying with you, and will also often use a bible study as a tool to help you. Different centers use different bible studies, but, the core of content that is contained within the different studies will basically always cover the same principles. The principles that are covered are crucial for your healing. Here's an example of things you will cover, based on the book that I always used with my clients, Forgiven and Set Free, by Linda Cochrane:


Identifying & Understanding Where You Need the Healing

Understanding the Character of God

Your Relief and Denial

Anger

The Need to Forgive

Depression

Walking in Your Forgiveness & Freedom

Acceptance


I found the above referenced book to be laid out perfectly.

There are other locations that do sometimes offer this type of bible study such as churches, but unless you've seen a flier for such a study or you are aware of what different churches are offering, it probably would be best to start at a pregnancy resource center.

Generally the process of such healing will consist of approximately 10 weeks, with your meetings being once a week. This can obviously vary depending on your needs. Most centers offer this type of counseling in either a group environment (with other post-abortive women) or on a one-on-one basis (with just one leader meeting with you). This can be determined upon your preference or on what is available.

Preparing for this process is a very exciting time! This is due largely to the fact that you will finally be given the chance to really share your heart about your abortion experience. Be assured that these centers will do everything they can to ensure your privacy and confidentiality in the process. I always told the women that I worked with that they should be forewarned about the weeks to come. There will be great anticipation for your meeting some weeks, and other weeks may be somewhat dreadful as you begin to dig deeply into the things that aren't easy or fun to recall.

I can remember being mind boggled in my own healing process, as I discovered how many painful details that I had suppressed and no longer remembered, until that is, that God lovingly helped me to remember. This is what I've described in some of my previous posts as "God lovingly walking us through a process of healing". He takes us to a place of remembering those painful details so that He can touch and heal every hurt of our heart. He loves you that much! This is the process of becoming whole. You can't be whole if you keep missing some of the cracks. I'll be honest, it's not always easy, but remember, He's not going to abandon you. You'll be right where He's wanted you to be for so long, and you better believe that He will comfort you, encourage you, strengthen you, and love you through the process.

The conclusion of your healing process will likely include a special memorial for your unborn child(ren). I can't begin to explain to you the significance of importance in this one step alone. I will speak more about this on my next post.

Finally, If you do not yet regularly attend a church, I recommend that you begin to, either during or after your healing process. Prayerfully seek the Lord for a church that will help you to grow. He's faithful to lead! This is of utmost importance as you're learning the new things of God. Your consistency with God will help you to contain what you've learned and experienced, and help you to grow in every area of your life. The fellowship of other like minded believers is also important. You must stay connected with others who can understand you and pray for you!

Conclusion: Seeking complete wholeness should be viewed as an investment. You must enter into the process with an "all or nothing" attitude to completely benefit. While you could do the bible study on your own, I don't recommend it. You should work with someone who is knowledgeable and can help lead you in the process. One of the most troubling things that I have found in my experience with women, is, when they have found temporary comfort by some form of healing on their own terms, but then later realize that they're still hurting. This can be harmful because not only is she still broken, but now she also questions her ability to get any better because she short changed herself. Healing from abortion has to be taken seriously and must include commitment to the process.


Please, do not hesitate to let me know if you have any additional questions, or if I can personally help you in any way at all! You may privately reach me at: extendedhope@aol.com

As Always, I Am Praying For You!

Will You Let Him?

When I began to volunteer for a local pregnancy center, I was enlightened with a whole new understanding for the depth of emotional intensity that can follow abortion. For instance, I discovered that there was actually a "term" used to describe the emotional aftermath experienced. The term used was PAS (Post Abortion Syndrome). I learned that PAS was a form of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The symptoms of PAS can vary in broad ranges from person to person. The timing of such symptoms can also vary. For some women, it is immediate that severe emotional distress will occur. For others, it can be 10, 20, 30+ years until it is recognized that much of what they have struggled with in their lives is directly related back to their abortion(s).

Some Symptoms of Post Abortion Syndrome:

1. Guilt - For the woman who has come to believe at some point, either before or after the abortion, that she consented to the killing of her unborn child, the burden of guilt is relentless. There is little consolation to offer the woman who has transgressed one of nature's strongest instincts: the protection a mother extends to her young. Many post-abortive women believe that any unhappy events that have occurred since the abortion were inevitable because they "deserve it."

2. Anxiety - Anxiety is defined as an unpleasant emotional and physical state of apprehension that may take the form of tension, (inability to relax, irritability, etc.), physical responses (dizziness, pounding heart, upset stomach, headaches, etc.), worry about the future, difficulty concentrating and disturbed sleep. The conflict between a woman's moral standards and her decision to abort generates much of this anxiety. Very often, she will not relate her anxiety to abortion, and yet she will unconsciously begin to avoid anything having to do with babies. She may make excuses for not attending a baby shower, skip the baby aisle at the grocery store and so forth.

3. Psychological Numbing - Many post-abortive women maintain a secret vow that they will never again allow themselves to be put in such a vulnerable position. As a result, often without conscious thought, they may work hard to keep their emotions in tight check, preventing themselves from feeling the pain of what has happened, but also greatly hampering their ability to form and maintain close relationships.

4. Depression and Thoughts of Suicide - All of us experience depression from time to time, but the following forms of it are certainly common in women who have experienced abortion:

Sad mood--ranging from feelings of melancholy to total hopelessness.

Sudden and uncontrollable crying episodes--the source of which appear to be a total mystery.

Deterioration of self-concept--because she feels wholly deficient in her ability to function as a "normal" woman.

Sleep, appetite, and sexual disturbances--usually in a pattern of insomnia, loss of appetite and/or reduced sex drive.

Reduced motivation--for the normal activities of life. The things that occupied her life before the depression no longer seem worth doing.

Disruption in interpersonal relationships--because of the general lack of enthusiasm for all activities. This is especially evidenced in her relationship with her husband or boyfriend, particularly if he was involved in the abortion decision.

Thoughts of suicide or preoccupation with death--not surprisingly, in a study done by the Elliot Institute, some 33% of post-abortive women surveyed reached a level of depression so deep that they would rather die than go on.

5. Anniversary Syndrome - In the survey reference previously, some 54% of post-abortive women report an increase of post-abortion syndrome symptoms around the time of the anniversary of the abortion and/or the due date of the aborted child.

6. Flashbacks - Recurring flashbacks of the abortion episode can often occur during situations that resemble some aspect of the abortion, such as a routine gynecological exam, or even the sound of a vacuum cleaner's suction. Flashbacks also occur in the form of recurring nightmares about babies in general or the aborted baby in particular.

7. Preoccupation with Becoming Pregnant Again - A significant percentage of women who abort become pregnant again within one year, and many others verbalize the desire to conceive again as quickly as possible. The new baby, sometimes referred to as the "atonement baby," may represent an unconscious desire to replace the one that was aborted.

8. Childbearing Issues - Some post-abortive women maintain a fear that they will never again become pregnant or be able to carry a pregnancy to term. Some expect to have handicapped children because they have "disqualified themselves as good mothers." Many refer to these fears as punishments from God.

9. Interruption of the Bonding Process with Present and/or Future Children - Fearing another devastating loss, a post-abortive woman may not allow herself to truly bond with other children. Another common reaction is to atone for her actions toward the aborted child by becoming the world's most perfect mother to her remaining or future children. Likewise, the woman who already had children at the time of her abortion may discover that she is beginning to view them in a different light. At one extreme, she may unconsciously devalue them, thinking things like, "you were the lucky one. You were allowed to live." Or she may go in the opposite direction and become overly protective.

10. Excessive Behavior - Acting out excessively through eating habits, spending/shopping, sexual behavior, etc. attempting to compensate in any way for the pain and emptiness that they feel.

11. Alcohol and Drug Use/Abuse - Alcohol and drug use often serve initially as a form of self-medication--a way of coping with the pain of the abortion memories. Sadly, the woman who resorts to alcohol and/or drugs eventually finds herself not only having more problems but also fewer resources with which to solve them. The mental and physical consequences of alcohol or drug use/abuse only amplify most of the symptoms the woman is already experiencing.

12. Self-Punishing or Self-Degrading Behaviors - The post-abortive woman may also enter in abusive relationships, become promiscuous, and fail to take care of herself medically or deliberately hurt herself emotionally and/or physically.

As I prepared to become a counselor to post-abortive women, I studied and learned all that I could about this important subject. God took this new found knowledge, and added my personal experiences to begin touching lives. I was blessed beyond blessed to be able to counsel countless women of all ages, diversities, and experiences. When I reflect on the lives that have been touched and forever changed in our world as a result of this type of ministry, it leaves me with a tremendous satisfaction. It is nothing short of a miracle to be forgiven and set free from such a torment. It does my heart good to see the greatness that God does with the bad.

I rejoice for every life that has been rescued! I am also careful to not lose sight of the lives of many others who still need this kind of healing. It is my passion to see others set free, the same way God miraculously set me free.

I share with you the symptoms of PAS, so that you might gain some understanding about things you perhaps have been experiencing, and how it may be associated to trauma resulting from your abortion(s). I want to clarify though, that as glad as I am that the seriousness of abortion has been recognized through the "term" PAS, it is a term that I've never particularly cared for. I've always thought that the emotional hell from abortion was enough without labeling it as a syndrome. I firmly believe that the only way to be truly healed and set free from the torment of abortion is through Jesus Christ. It's important that you understand that God is not the author of sickness or "syndrome", and to receive His gift of wholeness is to understand that. I always made this a point to share with those I counseled, and I feel that it is important to share with you now.

With all of this said, realize that God is just waiting to deliver you -- He's prompting your heart right now! He can't wait to touch you, but it begins with your willingness to let Him.

Will You Let Him?

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalm 147:3

Too Good Not To Share!

Throughout my life, God has placed some very amazing women in my path. There is a treasure of richness that exists in every friendship that God has ever led me to. For this, I am truly grateful.

For my post today, it is my pleasure to share the blog spot of one of my new friends. I really love hearing her heart, and I think you will too! Her post today was too good not to share!

Please, check her out, and leave her some love!

http://faithwithheels.blogspot.com/

He Alone

Well, my busyness has continued! I returned home last Monday to a full week before me.

I've continued to be focused on the things that are important to me. Focused on remaining slow enough, and quiet enough to not miss the voice and leading of my God. I've been careful to seek how He desires to fill my days, rather than trusting my own list of priorities.

In this, I've been thinking about how it is that we can sometimes convince ourselves into thinking that we have something to offer that the world needs. Don't get me wrong now, I know we all have something to contribute to one another, and I do believe that this is a big part of God's marvelous plan for our lives. But what we have to offer could never compare to all that God can and does directly offer to us each and every day.

I had been so anxious, so to say, to offer or provide a word of hope or encouragement to the hearts of those who follow this blog. Instead, God had me focusing on Him and on not on writing at all! This eventually led me to the point of my post today.

Haven't we all had those days that we could have really used the encouragement of a friend? Days that we have longed to vent with our mothers or husbands. Days that, though we longed for them, not a single one was around or available? I believe God intentionally maneuvers the unavailability of our loved ones sometimes, so that we'll instead, talk with Him. He loves to hear us empty our hearts. And yet, we often do this as a last resort.

Regardless to how it is that we eventually get to Him, I am convinced that there truly is no better place to be.

READ THE BIBLE

There is so much power and revelation to be found in His word, friends! In His word, we will find the answer or solution to any question or dilemma we could ever face. In His word, we will find all the strength and encouragement we could ever require to face the day. In His word, we find healing, mercy, forgiveness, and comfort for our souls! In His word, we find an inheritance of authority and prosperity for us to walk in. His word is the map book of life! Everything we could ever need . . . is in His word!

PRAY

Do you realize that when you seek God with all of your heart, He promises that you will find Him? Do you realize that when we quiet ourselves in seeking Him, we can actually hear what He's saying? Do you realize, that when we pray consistently, we can secure the structure and foundation of our lives and the lives of our loves ones? Prayer determines the manifestation of where you will enter into with God. By praying, not only do you have the opportunity to release everything that is inside of you, you also make an investment in your future and in everything and everyone that is important to you. And prayer is even more powerful when we agree by faith together for the things of God over our lives!

When He wouldn't let me write, I read His word and I prayed. I've been praying for many things, and I want you to know that I've been praying for you. Some of you, I've not met or corresponded with as of yet, but I often pray for you anyway.

If I have anything of true worth to offer to you, it is Jesus alone........He is simply enough! If you never had another friend in your life, you still would never be alone. He promises to never to leave you or forsake you. Isn't that incredible? There's nothing that can ever separate you from the love of God!

I realize I've been a bit off, concerning my focus on healing specifically from the heartache of abortion. But with His timing, I offer to you a broader perspective of Jesus as the solution to EVERYTHING IN LIFE!

As He leads me, I will write. Please know that in our journey together through this blog, if you don't hear from me in a couple of days, it's because I'm listening. And if it seems like I go from A to P to C, let's not question it. Let's trust that there's a reason. Our God knows what He's doing.

Have a great weekend!